Submitted by Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.Several decades ago, the anthropologist Edward Hall noted that societies differed in their consideration of time. Put simply, some cultures place priority on what the clock says, with events assigned to specific dates and hours. Having an appointment from 9 - 10 a.m. is a typical kind of event in places like the U.S., Great Britain, and Japan. Other cultures, like Spain and Brazil, are dominated by event-time. That is, the amount of time necessary to complete a particular task is determined by the amount of time that it actually takes to complete it. In other words, the time allotted to a particular event or task is not predetermined by a set number of hours or minutes; it evolves naturally as you engage in the experience. Both perspectives have their advantages and disadvantages. For us city dwellers (in NYC and other U.S. urban areas), we live by the clock. We set-up appointments, maintain established times to start/stop work, and wear an ever-present reminder of the time on our wrists (we even turned it into jewelry!). Despite our reliance on the clock, we often do not have control over our ability to meet these deadlines. We might need to receive an important paper from a colleague in order to complete our assignment or we might get food poisoning, which torpedoes our ability to work at all. Let’s consider public transportation. Typically, we rely on bus drivers, subway conductors, taxi drivers, and parking lot attendants (if we drive) to help us get to where we need to be. However, we do not have control over these people, their directives, or the obstacles that they face. Last night, I was running late. I had to be home within 30 minutes, and I knew that my subway trip typically takes 45 minutes. I made a call to indicate that I might be late, and descended into the station. “I’m late!†I thought worriedly. People weren’t moving fast enough across the platform, and the stairs were jammed with fellow passengers who carefully negotiated the steps. “Move it!†I thought. I was craning my neck to look ahead and contorting my body to see if I could slip into a nook or cranny in the crowd in order to advance a few inches ahead of the pace of the group. Suddenly, I had two realizations: Right now, I’m not late.There is nothing I can do in order to arrive home any quicker. Whoa! My first one was just too obvious. According to my watch, I’m not late. In fact, it is technically possible--although highly unlikely--that I could arrive on time. So, why am I introducing “I’m late!†into the present moment? Right now, I’m not late at all. Even my retort, “I’m gonna be late!â€, was a prediction that might not come true. In any case, considering these possibilities only increased my worry and anxiety. Which leads me to my second observation.There is nothing I can do in order to get more more quickly. No matter how much I paced on the platform or cursed the repeated arrival of the “wrong trainâ€, I was beholden to the actual pace of events over which I had no control. My demand or expectation of control in a situation in which I had none only made things worse for me. I realized that I had two choices: (1) continue to drive myself crazy over my presumed lateness, or (2) accept that I had no control and simply relax into the situation. Mindful breathing seemed like a nice alternative here, so that’s what I did. When I finally arrived home--after a further delay when the local train switched to express service--I was indeed late. I expressed my apologies, and all was forgiven. As I sat down to relax, I reminded myself of the obvious,“You’re not late until you’re late.â€UM Pointer: Practice mindful breathing when you’re in a situation in which you have no control, such as riding the elevator, waiting for the subway train, sitting in traffic, or being jammed into a crowd. P.S. Sorry to dominate the postings lately folks, but I’ve had to make a couple accommodations with our blogging calendar. Ironic perhaps, given the subject of this post. However, you’ll be hearing again from the other bloggers soon.
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